Mental & Emotional

Last week, I sewed these really cute {and REALLY easy} curtains for our master bathroom.

{I’m purposely not showing you much of the curtains because I’ll be sharing my “curtain tutorial” tomorrow.}

Right now, I want to revisit the issue of “sentimental” or “emotional” clutter and how great it is when you can actually USE something that is also very sentimental…

When my grandma died a few years ago, I was the only grandchild who knew how to sew — and even though my sewing abilities are somewhat limited {simple curtains, bedding, pillows, etc.} I was “willed” her oldie-but goodie sewing machine…

…and ALL her sewing supplies {she had a TON!}

The cool thing about this sentimental gift is that I could actually use it! 

It did take me a while to weed through everything, and I definitely tossed/donated a decent amount. But as a newly married person who didn’t have any sewing stuff at the time, it was exciting to get such a sentimental AND useful gift from my Grandma. 

Since then, I have regularly used her sewing machine and many of the fun tools and accessories she left behind to make simple projects, hem pants for myself, lengthen pants for Dave, and all sorts of other dd projects. Just recently, our Korean international student, Nancy, is learning how to sew on my Grandma’s machine! {she’s making a skirt and a tu-tu!}

So even though I am still NOT in favor of keeping mass amounts of sentimental and emotional clutter “just because”, I thought I should also share a situation from my own life where I’ve kept a bunch of sentimental items but figured out how to use them in my every-day life so they are no longer “clutter”.

Here are some of my favorite sewing supplies from my Grandma:

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These are a couple of the old tools she had in her sewing tool box {the same green one pictured above}. I use the measuring tape all the time… the others are just fun to have! 

This was my grandpa’s travel sewing kit from the war. Obviously, this is just for sentimental purposes… but it does fit inside the sewing box

I love that all her old supplies had prices on the packaging. It’s crazy to look back and think how inexpensive some of these things used to be!  I absolutely LOVE the old packaging, and have actually used many of these items.

Of course, what would a good sewing box be without a handful of thimbles? Since I don’t do a lot of sewing by hand, I’ve probably only use a thimble once in my whole life, but I just couldn’t part with these.

My grandma was very organized {it must be in my genes!} and still had the manual, all the extra parts, and even the old can of oil for her sewing machine! She also had gobs and gobs of carbon tracing paper —  however, I make all my patterns out of newspaper so I just kept one package for memorabilia and donated the rest.

If you need any color of thread, I’m pretty sure I’ve got it — all sorted by color too so it will be easy to find!

I have every color of bobbin thread too! I’m actually surprised at how often my rainbow collection of thread has come in handy for different projects. And I just can’t get enough of the metal bobbins — they are SO much nicer than the new plastic kind!

I saved the best for last… this super old, hand-made wrist pin cushion is practically falling apart, but I use it all the time! It is so handy to have my pins readily available and attached to my wrist at all times! I haven’t seen anything like it in sewing stores.

All of my sewing supplies {and memorabilia} fit conveniently inside my grandma’s sewing box, which is stored in our office closet alongside her sewing machine so I can quickly access anything I need.

And every time I get out the supplies and start another project, I can’t help but think about my grandma and how proud she would be to know that I’m using her machine — and now teaching Nancy how to sew {seriously, if you knew my grandma… she would be bragging about this to all her friends!}

This week, I’m planning to sew most of the crib bedding for our soon-to-be baby girl, and I feel like the finished product will be extra special since it was made with many of her great-grandma’s supplies!

So for those of you who think I tell everyone to get rid of every piece of sentimental clutter — you’re wrong! I’ll probably try to help you find a useful purpose for it first… and then tell you to get rid of the rest

Do you have any sentimental treasures that you also use regularly?

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Last week, I posted about what I did with my wedding dress… and I asked for other creative ideas from you.

Honestly, I expceted the main response to be, “I could never get rid of my dress” — and there were a few of those comments!!

But for the most part, you had so many great ideas! You can read all the different ideas in the comment section, but…

Here are my top-ten favorites:

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1. Use some of the fabric to make your daughters prom or wedding dress.

One women said that her daughter actually made her own prom dress using scraps from the mom’s wedding dress — how cool is that!

2. Use fabric to make something else.

There were so many great ideas of things to make from wedding dress fabric — baby baptism outfits, photo album covers, pillows, and hankies were just a few of the ideas.

3. Give it away.

Obviously, not everyone could simply give their wedding dress away, but I always see wedding dresses at thrift stores and secondhand stores, and I just think it would be such a blessing for someone on a limited budget to be able to wear a great dress.

4. Sell it.

I actually tried to sell my dress on Craigslist, but didn’t have any interested buyers. However, several people told me they had great luck with selling their dress on Ebay, Craigslist, or even at a consignment store.

5. Donate it to raise money for a cause.

I received several comments from women who had donated their dresses to raise money for cancer, or another great cause. It sounds like there are different organizations like these in every state, so if you’re interested, just a do a little research.

6. Send it to another bride via the Secret of the Traveling Dress

Caitlin told me about this REALLY cool website, A Practical Wedding, and how you can put your dress up for grabs, choose the bride you would like to wear your dress, and then send them the dress. They wear it for their wedding, send you pictures, and then pass the dress along again.

If I hadn’t cut my dress up, I might have done something like this!

7. Store it at your mom’s house.

I had to laugh when I heard that so many people still store their dress at their mom’s house! Hey, I guess it’s a way to keep the clutter out of your own house

8. Let your kids use it to play dress-up.

This is another great idea if you’re not quite ready to get rid of your dress but want to do something useful with it. What little girl wouldn’t love to play around with her mom’s wedding dress?

9. Wear it for a Halloween or costume party.

A bunch of ladies said that they had worn their wedding dress multiple times for Halloween, costume parties, mystery dinners, etc. How fun!

10. Donate it to the Mary Madeline Project.

This was by-far my favorite use for old wedding dresses. The Mary Madeline Project takes old wedding dresses and makes tiny little burial outfits for still-born babies. Even though this is a horribly sad situation, just think how nice it would be to have a beautiful outfit to bury your baby in — especially since the parents probably would not have time to go out and purchase an outfit.

See aren’t these all great ideas?

So if you’re ready to make the plunge and get rid of your wedding dress, you just might want to try one of these really great ideas!

If you’re not ready, then just enjoy looking at your beautiful dress hanging in your closet or sitting in the box

Linked to Top Ten Tuesdays

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Where’s your wedding dress?

If you’re like most women, it’s carefully preserved, in a box, taking up loads of valuable storage space somewhere in your house. Or maybe it’s just hanging in your closet — still taking up equally as much storage space. Or maybe it’s in the attic, or the basement, or the garage, or…

Wherever it is, there’s a pretty good chance you will never wear it again.

You’re just storing it… because!

I love this picture, but we look like babies!

A wedding dress is one of those HUGE pieces of emotional clutter and while I don’t think you’re a bad person for hanging onto your wedding dress; I do want to challenge you to think about other alternatives to simply storing it for years without a purpose.

I often get asked what I did with my wedding dress, and I figured this time of year would be a good time to get a little wedding dress discussion going on!

So what did I do with my dress?

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I cut it up!

Well, actually, I tried to sell it on Craigslist for $90 {which is what we originally paid for it} but I guess people don’t want to buy a used wedding dress.

So then, I decided to cut up the fabric — with intention of using that fabric to make baptism outfits for our children…someday.

The whole process took about twenty minutes, it was virtually painless {seriously it was!}, and I now have a pile of gorgeous fabric that takes up WAY less space than a wedding dress. Oh,  and I’ll eventually have another use for it once we have kids!

The picture below is a pile of the scraps that I cut off. Look how dirty the hem was!

So now, my “wedding dress” is stored in a very small, Space Saver bag that hardly takes up any room at all. It’s actually in the bottom of my dresser drawer with sweaters on top.

And I donated the poofy lining that was under the dress to Goodwill. I suspect some little girls are having a great time playing dress-up!

I was a teeny tiny bit hesitant right before I made my first cut, and I DID try the dress on one time before I cut it up {it was a little tight, but it still fit.}  Over all, I’m so happy to have all that extra space and to know that I’ve created another use for my wedding dress.

So what did you do with your wedding dress?

And for all the girls getting married this Spring and Summer, do you have any creative ideas for your dress after the wedding?

Does anyone know of a specific place to donate wedding dresses — or any charities that you could give them to?

Linked to Works for me Wednesday

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Over the past few months, I’ve received several emails asking how I deal with keepsakes, family heirlooms, and emotional clutter.

Well, to be perfectly honest — if I don’t want it, I don’t keep it.

I’m not emotionally attached to anything so it’s really easy for me to toss {sometimes too easy!}. However, I know most people are not like me, so I thought I’d share a few tips…and a recent experience with one of my clients.

Earlier this year, I worked with a sweet older woman who had enough stuff in her basement to furnish a large second home. Her basement was basically unusable and many of her things had been ruined by water damage.

I could see how depressed she was, but when I asked why she continued to keep everything, she flashed me a huge smile and said, “I’m saving it for my kids.”

The idea sounded so sweet, but then I remembered…

Her children are now all in their 40’s with their own homes, their own families, and their own stuff! Most of them live over an hour away, and none of them have appropriate vehicles to haul the stuff back to their homes.

Plus, they simply didn’t want their mother’s things.

Can anyone relate?

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Unfortunately, I see this situation time and time again; and in most cases, the adult children don’t want their parents’ keepsakes or family heirlooms. However, it’s often too dificult for the parents to get rid of their things because they are so emotionally attached.

Do you have strong emotional ties to your stuff?

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If you can relate to my client, here are a few things to think about:

1. Remember — it’s JUST stuff.

Often it’s not the physical objects that you’re attached to, it is the memory associated with the objects. But there are many ways to preserve those memories even after you get rid of the objects.

You might try taking pictures of the items and creating a scrap book, or using scraps of old clothes and T-shirts to make a quilt {here are basic instructions on how to make a T-shirt quilt — which I still have on MY to-do list!}

2. Respect and accept your children’s wishes.

Your children are more important than your stuff and you don’t want to strain your relationships over a room full of clutter. Accept that your children might not need or want anything at all.

3. Offer the items to extended family or friends.

If your immediate family doesn’t want it, there might be others who will. However, make it casual and don’t pressure them!

4. Sell the items via Craigslist or Ebay.

If you feel your items have real value, you could sell them and donate your profits to a worthy cause — or split the money with your children. I can almost guarantee  they will accept cash over clutter any day!

5. Donate the rest.

If your kids don’t want it, your friends don’t want it, and you can’t sell it…then donate it to your favorite charity and take your tax deduction. Think of all the people who will benefit from your treasures and create new homes for them.

Dealing with keepsakes and family heirlooms can be an emotional project, but it’s a lot easier if you can separate your emotions from your things. If you can do that, guarantee it won’t be as bad as you think. Plus, you certainly don’t want to leave your children with the burden of cleaning out all your stuff some day.

If you have closets or rooms full of items you’re “saving for your children”, take some time this week to ask them what they might want (remember…no pressure!) Then, clear out the things they don’t want, and enjoy your extra space!

What are your tips for dealing with emotional clutter and family heirlooms?

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linked to Works for me Wednesday

{Top Image Credit}

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I often have so many ideas floating around in my head — ideas for house projects, ideas for my business and website, ideas for dinner, ideas for gifts I could buy, things I should do, errands I have to run, etc. etc.

However, the more ideas I have, the more overwhelmed I start to feel. And the more overwhelmed I feel, the likelier it is that I will forget my ideas.

It was overwhelming!

So I Organized My Ideas.

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Read all about my SIMPLE method for organizing my ideas over at Organizing.YourWay.net.

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The following is a guest post from Barb Reichow; organizing coach, home management expert, and owner of Life in Order.

There is a ton of information to digest here, but if you have ever struggled with clutter in your home, family, work, or life — this article is a MUST READ {which means we should all read it!}

So, as you enter into a brand new year, full of potential, remember that a life of order, simplicity, and organization IS possible.

Happy New Year!

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Can you believe we’re here again?

Another Christmas is history — 2010 is winding down. It’s time to take a deep breath and look around at the aftermath of all the planning, shopping, entertaining, decorating, wrapping, partying, feasting, celebrating, gathering, and giving.

It’s time for all of us to look at where we’ve been and consider where we’re going.

All of us have full and overflowing lives. So much stuff, so many roles and responsibilities, so much to do. Modern life is practically defined by busyness. We are overloaded by technology — email, Facebook, TV, cell phones, home phone, smart phone, apps, internet.

Our houses are bigger than ever and we keep accumulating possessions. We multitask to achieve greater productivity. Everywhere we look, a celebrity is promoting luxury and indulgence. As much as we don’t like to believe it, it pulls at us, doesn’t it? TV, magazines, and websites showcase an idealized, airbrushed world that makes us crave more, newer, flashier.

At the same time we long for simplicity — less of what doesn’t matter and more of what does.  And we feel caught between the two ideals. Our lives certainly don’t measure up to the lavish abundance and perfection portrayed in the media, but they don’t reflect the elegant simplicity of the ultimate “organized life” either.

What’s going on here?

What are we doing wrong?

What is the deeper reality behind this tension?

All these things can affect your internal clutter and external clutter. If you will be quiet and honest, you may see this tug-of-war in your own heart.

Inner Clutter…

…is what I call the unique mess of conflicting desires, intentions, needs, guilt, fears, denial, motives, resentments, shame, turmoil, unresolved emotional issues, baggage from the past, hurt, insecurity, brokenness, and accumulated junk we each carry.

And it’s a major cause of disorganization and clutter in our outer lives.

Inner Clutter…

• can cause us to make choices and behave in ways we don’t like or even understand
• causes fuzziness about who we are, what we want, how we feel, what we think
• contributes to mixed motives and divided loyalties
• can interfere with our ability to make decisions, set a direction for our own life, and set limits
• gets in the way of creating genuine, nurturing relationships with others

A life that is truly “in order” begins by clearing the inner clutter.

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Outer Clutter…

…is your visible life — encompassing your time, space, stuff, information, and relationships. It’s an expression of what’s going on on the inside.

A system imposed on “outer clutter” will never produce lasting change if the “inner clutter” is ignored. This is why you may have gotten organized numerous times, but it never stuck. The piles always returned. The weight came back. The laundry took over the house…again.

If you are unclear about your priorities, conflicted about how you spend your time, or trying to control some painful hidden part of yourself; those inner conflicts will show up in your life as chaos and disorganization.

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The Relationship Between Inner & Outer Clutter:

When you are surrounded by confusion — you don’t know where things belong and can’t find what we need.

When untended responsibilities hang over your head, shadowing you with shame and weighing you down with guilt — your mind and emotions are churning, racing, and in turmoil.

When you miss appointments and worry constantly that you might lose a vital piece of information — you are not free.

When you look around and see a mess and have no time for things you want to do — fear gnaws at you and a sense of failure overshadows you.

Your home stresses you out and you just want to escape. Denial kicks in.  You stay busy to avoid making decisions. You live life in fast-forward perpetual motion so you can control something.

While what you see in your visible life has its roots in your inner clutter, your external reality also keeps dumping more junk on your inner pile. It is, as they say, a vicious cycle.

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Clear Your Inner Clutter:

GOOD NEWS: This does NOT have to be a major undertaking involving years of psychotherapy.

There is hope! True transformation {real, deep growth} can and does occur outside of the therapist’s office.

The keys are awareness and direction, relationship and accountability, and time. You can work on these issues with personal introspection and the help of a good friend. Another option is to enlist a coach to guide you through the process.

Moving forward toward a more peaceful, ordered life is mainly about priorities — putting first things first.

1. First, get quiet and ask yourself what REALLY matters in your life. Remember, every time you say yes to something you’re saying no to something else.  Really think about what your choices bring into your life. What are you craving? What are you chasing? What’s driving you? What has come to you as a result? Face reality!

2. Next, decide to make some new choices. We don’t have to live in chaos, in fear, in unsatisfied demands and unfulfilled expectations. When we seek first what really matters, all these things will fall into place.

However, knowing what the problem is and doing something about it are two totally different things. We’re talking about growth — and the growth process is a gradual one.  It is a daily exercise; it takes learning new habits.

3. Finally, get support! Too often we want to “do it ourselves”.  Don’t get me wrong, tips and tricks do help.  They give us ideas and get us thinking in new ways.  But real lasting change takes effort, practice, AND, support and encouragement. The raw material needed for true growth comes in the form of relationships — accepting, constructive connections with other people.

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Clear Your Outer Clutter:

Visible clutter is never simply about messiness or a failure to try hard enough. It is a symptom of something deeper. Getting to the root {addressing the inner clutter that’s holding you back} will set you on a path toward becoming the person you were meant to be.

If stubborn pockets of outer clutter in your life hint at a deeper source, decide to take action.

• Begin to pay attention to who you are and what you really think and feel
• Do an inventory of what you find inside yourself {good and bad}
• Decide what really matters
• Practice gratitude
• Forgive
• Set boundaries on others’ control of you
• Give yourself permission to be who you are
• Get feedback
• Take small steps every day

If you find you are still stuck, try coaching. The objectivity and insights a coach can provide {together with support, structure, and accountability to walk through the process of change} may be exactly the gift you need to give yourself in 2011.

It’s possible to identify what really matters to you and design the right kind of balanced life — one that contains the perfect blend of style and simplicity; abundance and organization…enough, but not too much.

It’s possible when you start on the INSIDE and clear the clutter there first!

If that doesn’t give you something to think about as you enter into a brand new year…I don’t know what will.

I know there are SO many of you who are currently struggling with outer clutter as a result of inner clutter — I know because you’ve told me. If this article describes your situation, please go back and read it again, then bookmark {or print} this post and refer back to it through the next year.

Happy New Year!

{You can find Barb over at her website: Life-In-Order.com}

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Is it time for you to eliminate some of the clutter from your home and your life?

You know it’s time to get more organized if…

• You can’t close your closet doors
• You open your cabinets and wonder what will fall out
• You don’t need to dust anymore – because all your surfaces are covered with junk
• Your junk drawer has morphed into a junk room
• Your storage area has reached capacity
• You can’t park your car(s) in the garage

However, knowing it and actually doing it are two totally different things!

It can be difficult to eliminate unnecessary and useless items from your home, even though you know it will give you more order and organization. However, taking a logical “love it or lose it” approach should make it easier to clear your clutter and regain your cherished storage spaces.

Let me show you what I mean:

Kitchen:

Love it –> Plates, bowls, cups, and glasses that easily nest into other pieces; and Double-duty kitchen gadgets

Lose it –> Storage containers that are missing their tops or bottoms, dishes that are chipped, broken glassware, and unused water bottles and coffee cups.

Click here for 3 more reasons to organize your kitchen

Media:

Love it –> Any movie that you watch repeatedly and classic books you enjoy revisiting.

Lose it –> 8 tracks, records, books you never intend to read, your entire collection of CD’s (after you transfer them to your computer or MP3 player).

Clothing:

Love it –> Your favorite sweatshirt and jeans, an appropriate mixture of business and casual clothing, and at least one of each basic clothing item.

Lose it –> Clothes you hope to fit into some day, stained, damaged, unflattering, and outdated clothing.

See how I organize my closet.

Mental Clutter

Love it –> Great ideas, happy thoughts, and things you can control

Lose it –> Negative feelings, other people’s problems, and anything that’s out of your control

Kid’s Stuff:

Love it –> Their latest treasures, craft project, and artwork; clothes that fit;  toys and games they play with.

Lose it –> Old artwork and treasures, books and toys that are too “young” for them, and worn out clothing

Remember, you are the adult, and your children will want to keep EVERYTHING!

Memorabilia:

Love it –> A FEW keepsakes and family heirlooms, your favorite vacation souvenir, and small collections (as long as they can be beautifully displayed)

Lose it –> Everything else!

Taking a “Love It or Lose It” approach to getting organized should help to simplify the decision-making process for your next organizing project. These deciding factors can serve as your guidelines for which items will stay and which will soon find another home.

What was the last item you purged?

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